Judgments 20 July 2007
Judgments
Judgments and my understanding about it.
Each time I use an attribute to describe something or somebody I put a judgment, a definition on it….
My inner observation is that the so called judgment is overall used in our lives and is almost incredible subtle…until now judging was an absolute part of our dual existence. It was and is part of an orientation system in our dualistic world. But at the moment I want to leave this dualistic consciousness I need to get aware about its behavior pattern, in one way or another.
I, by myself have gone into this awareness specially through observing my thoughts and my feelings.
But at the beginning very often I taped into my own trap. I discovered feelings and thoughts inside me I didn’t liked so much, they were a kind of undesirable to me. Thereby I expressed another unconscious judgment. I felt the need of wanting to change these feelings and thoughts. Something inside me told me very subtle that these thoughts and feelings I had were wrong, I judged them, that they were doing me bad and I need to change them….
The terms - “not write”, “wrong” or “wanting to change something” - all these are judgments also. Through these kind of expressions I denial what is, I reject what is, I do not acknowledge what I feel and think inside me. That means that I do not respect myself the way I feel and think at this moment, I reject a part of my being, I denial myself as a perfect being….
At the moment I judge I bring this judgment into experience through human life.
For example I walked every day the same way and I felt bored. I judged that this walk is boring. So because of my judgment my experience corresponded to it. Even though my dualistic observation so far was to look at it from the reverse. At first I got aware about the walk on that trail and then I got aware about my bored feeling, so I concluded that it is because of the walk and the trail why I felt bored. Through this expression I fixed my judgment– walking on that trail is boring – and I insisted that it is that way….because of my experience complied with my judgment….
But at the moment I allowed myself to look at this experience in a new way and took out my judgment and allowed myself to experience the walk free of my judgment I was free to experience and discover everything what really was present on that walk. Thus my experience was completely different. Before my experience was bounded to my judgment, now it was free… And later on, when I looked ones again I discovered that my judgment was at the very first, much before I went out at my first walk….
At the moment I recognize my judgments each situation in my life is serving me to discover them and to be aware of them. So, when it happened ones again that I found myself on a walk and feeling bored…. immediately I looked at my judgment so I recognized them and thus allowed me to bring my experience into a conscious freedom….
Another very common behavior is to judge our fellow man. Each time I denominate another person with an attribute, doesn’t matter what kind, I judge this person.
At the moment I judge another person, I judge myself. This is part of our dualistic existence which allowed me to experience myself.
It seemed that I judged to my outside, but at the moment I got aware that what I saw through this other person was my perception of the person, my perception corresponding to my beliefs and beliefsystem. At this moment I got aware about my reflections.
Today, when I meet a person and I feel any judgment about him I know that I perceive a part of myself I haven’t fully recognized and integrated yet. So I turn towards myself in a very loving way and allow this recognition and integration right now….
“Wright” and “wrong” - “correct” and “incorrect” - “god” and “bad” - ….all these parts of the dualistic consciousness I had hidden ingeniously inside of myself ….and my outside served me in a perfect way to allow them to come back into my wider consciousness to recognize them as what they are…creations in the duality out of my essence being….and I believed so long that I were these creations….
Now, more free of my own judgments and definitions I start to experience myself and the world in a very new way and new freedom….
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- July 2007 -